


Memories of You

by insieme



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is Dead, Angst, But they had a happy life?, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Growing Old Together, Hurt No Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, Immortality, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mortality, no happy ending, sorry friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:44:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14355780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insieme/pseuds/insieme
Summary: Magnus pulled the box from the shelf, in perfect condition despite its age. Magnus went to extreme lengths to keep this box safe, even equipping it with its own set of wards. For if he were ever to lose it’s contents, well, he wasn’t sure what he would do with himself. What seemed like his entire life was contained within the walls of this box, when in reality, it had been just less than a century.Magnus looks through the box of Alec's things, long after he's gone.





	Memories of You

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a little angsty future fic, inspired by last night's episode. 
> 
>  
> 
> If you're lifetweeting, tag #insiemes so I can see them! 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy! xx

_“If I’m lucky, maybe one of my arrowheads will end up in that box some day.”_

Magnus smiled, despite the painful memory. That was one of the first fights they had had about their differences in mortality. It was far from their last, but it had been one of the hardest. When they were young in love, neither of them had been able to fathom a life without the other. Alec had even told Magnus that he couldn’t live without him. And Magnus had wholeheartedly wanted to share in that sentiment with him, wanted to believe that the day Alec’s heart stopped, so would his. But he knew - in that moment in the alley so many years ago - that he would have to eventually prepare for the day when he was permanently without his Alexander. That Alec would go to a place he could not follow. 

As they aged, they had come to terms with it more, accepted it more. It didn’t make it any easier, but it was made more bearable with time. As time passed and they built their life together, Magnus tried to ignore the lingering pain of losing his husband, his one true love. But they had children, immortal children, ones that would live on passed Alec and that gave Magnus a sense of comfort. Because while he wouldn’t have his love, he would have a piece of them in their offspring. 

He wouldn’t be alone. 

Magnus pulled the box from the shelf, in perfect condition despite its age. Magnus went to extreme lengths to keep this box safe, even equipping it with its own set of wards. For if he were ever to lose it’s contents, well, he wasn’t sure what he would do with himself. What seemed like his entire life was contained within the walls of this box, when in reality, it had been just less than a century. 

Carrying the box over to the bed, Magnus laid it down gently. He couldn’t open the lid, not yet. He had gone through this box so many times - in the first year it seemed like every day, but had more recently just regressed to annually, on the day Alec passed.

Max and Madzie knew this ritual, as did Cat, each one of them sending him messages of love and saying they were just a portal away. Max and Madzie were coming for dinner tonight and the three of them were going to visit Rafe, who was in his late nineties. 

He ran his fingers over the lid, shivering. It was if he could feel the energy of the box, of what it held and the power it had. Magnus wasn’t sure how much he believed in the afterlife and reincarnation, but it was as if a piece of Alec was somehow connected to this box. 

Alec had left part of himself with Magnus, in his heart, but he liked to believe that a piece of him also lived within the box. 

Magnus let himself have one more breath before he lifted the lid. Tears filled his eyes, a mix of happy and sad, as he saw his greatest love laid out before him. Pieces of their life together, mementos of their love, of their story of everything they had built. Together. 

His fingers ran over the small square of leather gently, reveling in the feeling of it. The small square of the jacket that Alec had wore almost everyday, even when he was much too old to be wearing a leather jacket. Magnus used to tease him about it, but Alec would always brush him off, claiming it made him feel young. And who was Magnus to argue with that?

A single dried rose caught his eye next. Once Alec really came into himself after the war, he was a helpless romantic. He would surprise Magnus with flowers often, always bashful when he did. “I saw these today on my walk home,” he would explain. “I thought of you.” 

The wedding invitation, yellowed with age, never failed to bring tears to his eyes. Magnus could confidently say that the day he married Alexander Lightwood was the happiest in his entire life, and he was sure that no day he would have in the future would ever top it. He still wore the band on his left hand to this day, gold and inscribed with the day they made their vows. Magnus was often asked why he didn’t take it off, now that his husband was gone. Magnus’ response was always that even if his husband was gone, he was still a married man and just as he said in his vows, he would honour that until he died. 

So many memories, so many milestones in their relationship. The napkin from their first date at the Hunter’s Moon, stained with the ring from Alec’s beer. The hospital bracelet worn by their first mortal child, the one Isabelle carried as a surrogate. Ticket stubs from movies and plays, and a ticket from the one time Alec had dared him to take a plane instead of a portal for their honeymoon. Alec’s steele; he had, surprisingly, only ever had one in his lifetime, a rarity for Shadowhunters. For their 25th wedding anniversary Magnus had had it engraved, reading “Go do your job, Shadowhunter.” Alec had laughed his head off the first time he saw it, surging towards Magnus for a kiss. 

He pulled out one of the many cards, the ones that Alec provided him on every birthday and anniversary. Alec had had a way with words, a way that made Magnus breathless with the sheer poetic quality it held. Each sentiment out of his mouth was honest and true, spoken directly from his heart. Each of the cards held a different piece of his heart, from their first anniversary to their 65th, Alec loved him more and more in each. 

One of Magnus’ favourites was from one of the last anniversaries they spent together. Alec’s penmanship was weak due to his arthritis, but he had still taken the time to write a card. _“As I write this card, I think back to when we were young. Well, when I was young.”_ Magnus laughed, wiping the tears from his eyes. _“I think about spending my life with you and how I knew that was what I wanted from the moment I first met you, even if I didn’t want to admit it. Well, I’ve spent my life with you Magnus, and it was so much better than anything I ever imagined. Happy anniversary, baby. I love you.”_

Magnus had to set the card down, tears falling too freely. He didn’t want to risk smudging the ink. He remembered the day Alec had given that to him, hazel eyes just as bright as they had been the day he met him. He had been so proud of it, so happy that he was able to still give Magnus a card. And Magnus, he’d cried like a baby which made Alec chuckle and pull him close, as best he was able. 

More objects, more memories, flooding back to Magnus with each new discovery. A poem ripped out of Alec’s favourite novel. The corner of this page was dog-eared, something Magnus would usually never allow, but for Alec he had made the exception. He remembered the hours Alec would spent out on the balcony, or on the living room couch reading. But he would always come back to this book, this poem. How many times Magnus had come home to him reading it. And when the children had come into their lives, the nights when they would be restless and fighting sleep, how Alec would take them out onto the balcony with the book and softly read them poetry until they fell asleep. 

Alec’s key to the loft. Magnus had given it to him soon after he had asked. He had been terrified to let Alec into his life that one step further but with what happened in Edom, Magnus wanted to be close to Alec everyday, for as long as he could. Alec always insisted on carrying the key with him, carried it until the day he died, even though the door was rarely locked. He always told Magnus that he liked to carry it though, liked to know that it belonged to him. 

The box was filled with so many trinkets, each with their own powerful meaning. But there was one that held more meaning to him than anything inside. It was an object Magnus had worn on him longer than his wedding ring, dating back to the first few weeks they had been dating. 

The omamori. 

Alec had given it to him so long ago, and Magnus had carried it with him throughout everything life threw at them. Through the war, Edom, every fight, every time either of them had to leave for work or the nights where Alec wouldn’t come home until the early hours of dawn, covered in ichor and blood. 

It was worn with age, fraying at the edges, colouring not as bright as it used to be. It had been hard to put in the box, one of the hardest things he had ever done, like giving up a piece of himself. But Magnus couldn’t bear to carry it around, not when Alec was gone. 

Holding the small artifact in his hands had a calming effect, releasing the tension in his body he hadn’t been aware he was holding. Alec had also had that effect on Magnus. A simple touch, press of his palm to Magnus’ lower back or his fingers twined with Magnus’, had been enough to sap all the tension from him immediately. 

Magnus smiled, a real smile, placing each item carefully back in the box where they belonged. Losing Alec was always going to hurt. It was always going to feel like Magnus was missing a piece of himself, because he was. But Alec lived on every single day in their children and in each one of their memories. Not a day went by that Magnus didn’t think of him, of something that would make him smile or laugh. 

Shutting the box with a click, Magnus wiped the last of his tears just as he heard the sound of the door opening. “Papa? You here?”

Magnus stood up, placing the box back in it’s rightful place in his closet. He touched the lid once more. “Until next year, my angel,” he whispered. 

Madzie poked her head in, stilling when she saw her Papa. “Hey,” she said softly. “Need a minute?”

Magnus shook his head, throwing one last look at the box before grabbing his coat. “I’m okay, sweetpea. Now,” he clapped his hands, linking arms with his daughter. “Is your brother here? Raziel knows he’s always late to everything.”

 

****

**Author's Note:**

> My eyes are sweating .....
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>  
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> Let me know what you thought down below in the comments or on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/insiemes) xx
> 
> See you soon angels!


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